Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
