I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
