I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize