So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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