This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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