oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
