In the future we'll all be gay
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
