this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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