I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
