i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
