im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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