Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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