Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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