I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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