brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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