Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
