She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
