Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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