Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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