But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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