Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
