This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
