it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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