Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.

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(714): View more from California

I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...

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