what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive