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• (305): View more from Florida

  my head looks like a cockatoo

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But what if I pay for the gas?

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

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• (916): View more from California

  You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (909): View more from California

  I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking

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