Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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