I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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