You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
