True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
