If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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