fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My liver just had a heart attack.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
