Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
