My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
