Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
