Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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