tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
