Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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