I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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