I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
