whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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