it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
