their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
