I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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