Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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