I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
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