I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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