Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
