I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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