is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
