im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize