The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
