1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
