He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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