I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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