No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
