you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So much rum. So many feels.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am one with the molecules
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
