i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am one with the molecules
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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