I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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