He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
