She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
