you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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